Frustration!

I am so FRUSTRATED!! Here is my dilemma, which I must add is totally unsolvable, so don't even bother trying to solve it ok?

Here I am, 42 years old, and stuck in such a bit rut I can barely see the side of the damn thing! The rut is constructed thus! I want to do stuff with my house and can't cos of the small problem of kids still being at home despite my best efforts to extract them - this is coupled with a severe lack of money which is down to being bloody awful with the stuff AND the kids being a constant drain on what we haven't wasted! This forms side one of the rut! This side is not so steep as I am not THAT bothered about the house cos if I did it up now it would be a bomb site in a matter of days due to the kids and dogs!

The other side of the rut joins quite nicely in with the bottom and is the biggest part of my frustration.....WORK! Believe it or not I actually like to earn money (see above) more importantly I like to be out and about and doing stuff but I HATE HATE HATE my chosen career path! I want to do something interesting so badly it is like a bloody bite that keeps on itching and let me know it is there but like bites there is very little I can do about it. Do I quit my job and start freelance writing again and hope that I can earn enough dosh to pay the bills? No, I need the guarantee of some money coming in and I am sooooooo flighty that I would most likely not be terribly good at hitting deadlines OR thinking of truly fabulous things to write about. I love being all arty crafty farty and have been knitting madly recently with half a mind to do some craft fairs with my little bits of scrummyness but then I thought of the sort of knitted goods I have seen at craft fairs and my creative self cringes at the thought of 'old lady' knitting and I want to do something amazing that will make people point and say 'wow'. Therein lies the problem, the 'wow' factor! I found this fantastic Japanese book the other day with 'house shoes' in it and they were all crocheted and definitely had a 'wow' factor....small problem...have you seen my attempts at crochet? No? That is cos I cant bloody do it!!! However, I have determination if nothing else and I will try to create something which will make all go 'wow' , but I would advise that you do not hold your breath!

Pretty Shoes

More Pretty Shoes

I wanna make these!!!!

So that is the middle and half of the other side of the rut...the last bit is still in the work category. That is Lincolnshires lack of job opportunity! My personal little bit of Lincs that is....the newspaper which advertises jobs had a sum total of 10 jobs and none of those were aimed at the likes of me...I could have applied for work as a Pall Bearer, HGV driver and/or tractor driver. I could have applied to be a plumber, driving instructor, care worker (part time) and of course the staple job for round here, packer in a factory. Sigh! So what do I do? I suppose the fact that I need to work I should stay put for now and keep applying for the alternatives as and when they crop up but oh I want to be a writer, so so so much but just lack the imagination and drive! Hence Frustration!

I should not whinge, and I should not moan, cos there are so many people who would love to do my shitty little job and they would not think it shitty and live in my 'never tidy' house, which I am sure would be oh so tidy in someone else's hands, so I will complain no more!

One must hope that the next time I get around to blogging I will be feeling somewhat more fulfilled!!!

Oh by the way, here is a goody. I took on a course about six months ago to qualify to be a counsellor (please say nothing derogatory about that) only to discover that it only qualifies me to work for myself and there is not one association which actually recognises that particular qualification ie, NHS, Relate et al! Good choice huh? I will finish it this winter and you never know what might happen once I am in possession of said qualification but I don't doubt that I will still be number crunching this time next year....yawn!!!!!!!

Crookshanks

It is a sad sad day here in Lincolnshire. My darling mogster Crookshanks is dead! Andy found him yesterday morning squidged on the road outside the house!

I am heartbroken as he was without a doubt my favourite moggy, he had a huge fluffy ginger tail and the sweetest disposition and he will be sorely sorely missed.

I have put together this tribute to him:

They will not go quietly,the cats who've shared our lives.

In subtle ways they let us knowtheir spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us thinkwe hear a meow at the door.

Or step back when we dropa tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the placethe food dish used to be,

And, sometimes, coming home at night,we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friendsand a new food dish to fill,

That one place in our heartsbelongs to them. . . and always will.
- Linda Barnes

I wanted to write some clever words here that summed up how I felt about Crooky but I just could not put into words how sad I feel about losing him. I know that I still have three more moggies all equally loved but Crooky was special, being my first ginger babe and such a hunk he was too. So I won't write soppy words of love and devotion, just suffice to say he will be much missed around here and never replaced.

Crookshanks - my gorgeous fluffy ginger baby

RIP July 16th 2008

!!Newsflash!!!

I have BIG news!!!!

Sammi is expecting! Yes indeedy, she is expecting a litter of puppies in about four weeks! I guess we were fairly naive to think that Alfie's constant attention (more commonly known as doggie porn) about one month ago would not end up in pregnancy but we didn't think he was old enough!!!!! He is only eight months old now and apparently according to the vet a boy can father puppies at just five months!!! Eeeek, he is sooooo for the snip now!!!!

Anyhow, after much deliberation over the last week we decided that Sammi is getting fatter and she is acting a little odd so we decided to get a scan done....and well, you know the rest!

I was mildly miffed with the vet we saw last week, she went out of her way to scare the bejeezus out of us by telling us all the nightmare stories of what can go wrong, and in quite graphic detail too!!! However we jointly (that is me and the old man) decided that we would let her go ahead and have her babies, after all the alternative is just plain mean and messy! However the one we saw today was much much nicer and was very sweet and explained many things and we are now much happier with her going ahead with the pregnancy! By the way the offspring will be called Pom-a-poos, what a cool label to put on them!

Here is her ultrasound piccie.....yes it is not just us humans that get a piccie of the babies we are growing.....

Now the red circle shows where the puppy/puppies are....I had to have this pointed out to me as it is just black blobs and white blobs but the white blob encircled is one or more puppies....we don't know how many to expect but I have been informed that Pomeranians have between one and three puppies and we are now taking bets on how many she is going to have and what the sex will be! I have a wager on three, two boys and a girl....anyone care to join in? There is no prize just the satisfaction of being right!

Well, that is all for now, I will leave you with a picture of the happy parents to be.....don't look too bothered by it all do they?????

Extreme Camping.....Part 2

Ever feel jinxed? No? Well frankly I am beginning to wonder you know! In the last....um.....20 years or so if we (that would be hubble and family and me) wanted a holiday it would always be under canvas or in a caravan, and in that 20 years I reckon we have had one or two dry holidays! The last four camping trips have been like this:

Holiday 1.....about 2 years ago....family, dogs and all in the new tent in Rendlesham forest. The weather? Severe (and I mean severe) gales....our tent did survive but we did get a broken pole...I believe there was a fair amount of wetness involved too!

Holiday 2...... a similar period of time ago, a late summer break to Yorkshire...oh boy did it rain!!!! HUGE thunderstorms and not a dry day to be seen!!!

Holiday 3....Easter weekend at Snetterton....well you know about that one

and the latest breakaway, Sunday April 6th 2008, Brands Hatch for the first round of the British Superbike Championship and what did it do? Snow, snow and yet more snow!!! A rather nice motorbike racer made the comment that David and I were the BSB Jonas....I saw no whales though!!!!

However, we were very warm and cosy in our new van and I just did not care what the weather was doing!!

View from our caravan window - 7am Sunday morning

Just one hour later and at least 3 inches of snow now outside the caravan

View over the track, just after the start finish straight at about 10.15 am and it is still snowing!

Dave...ready, willing and able to do his job....shame there were no bikes to Marshal!

Toodleoo!!

Caravans are us!

Funny thing about caravans...you spend your adult life hating the bloody things, if there is a traffic queue on a bank holiday weekend you can bet it is either a tractor or a caravan that is at the front of said queue, bimbling along blissfully unaware of the road rage building behind him!!! Anyhow you hate them but we always end up either owning one or considering owning one!

We have sadly now joined the ranks of the slow moving and are the pround owners of a small 2 berth van! Do look at the piccies below it is very nice considering we paid a mere £265 for it. We spent yesterday cleaning it out, removing all the bad stuff, naff ornaments and general detritus that seems to find a home lurking in drawers and cupboards. Rachel and I spent some time redecorating the bathroom (badly) but it is better than it was. The single worst thing was the loo itself which is now residing in a skip at the local tip....it was quite literally a bucket with a seat and lid!!!! Nice....not! We have invested in a new portaloo, some cushions and new bits and bobs to brighten it up a bit and are now very pleased with our super cheapo purchase!

Next weekend we are off to Brands Hatch for the first round of the British Superbikes, in warmth and comfort and the weather can do what the hey it wants!!!!